A Fictionista In Apple Country

The Secret to YA Novels

2011-04-20T18:03:00.002-04:00

Ssshh, please don't tell anyone that there's a formula to writing novels. They'll think we're hacks.

So I've decided to study the YA books (that's YOUNG ADULT for all you 1.5 new readers who think I'm speaking in CIA code) that we all covet and adore. Anyways, the thing I'm doing is writing very, very short chapters that end just-like-that. Like you've walked into a door or fallen off a cliff, but not in any violent way.

Because teenagers have the attention spans of ants. This is not a knock. They just do. I still do and I'm an old teenager. So in order to write to them, for them, about them, I keep my chapters VERY short.

Not like this [ ]. But like this []. Seven pages max.

Eight is too much, but you can slip in a few here and there. Just don't go crazy.

Four are ideal.

Two-three are Super-Ideal-Plus.

And, then the cherry on the chapter-cake is when it just ends. Ever see those poor soon-to-be-dead soaps where no one says "Bye," like normal people in real life do?

Example: "Jackson, are you serious? You boinked Jenna and now you want me to forgive you?" And he says while staring at her no less: "Yeah."

End of Scene. End of phone conversation. End of chapter.

That's how it works. And it keeps people tuned in, especially teens. Go see for yourself. They do not say "goodbye, or have a nice day, or Bye, bye." They just end it.

I hope this is helpful. I'm not saying goodbye, but gotta go! (Slams door behind her.)

Long time, no post

2011-04-20T17:39:00.000-04:00

So here's something to check out. My friend, Victoria Wilder's website about the brain. It's filled with information that many of us artistic types (crazy?) will want to understand. There's even a section on brain mapping.

Drum roll... http://corerejuvenation.com/Home_Page.php

How a backyard project is like editing a novel

2010-09-08T14:56:00.000-04:00


You always end up doing and spending more than you thought you would.


You gasp in shock when you see those ginormous, ugly sentences that grew like weeds in your manuscript. You down a caraffe of coffee or sangria, then mercilessly rip them out, savoring your new-found power.

You find fresh, brilliant ways to clean your tome and yard, and search for meaningingful angles to unique paths that will maintain the integrity of your intention. Okay, that's a load of cow chips. Let's just say you plow ahead like Scarlett O'Hara, vowing to nevuh, evuh go hungry again. Then you trip on a rock and crack your head open. You have five epiphanies in a row (que up any Jonas Brothers song), go forth, and remove the rot.


You scour the universe for the perfect words and trees for your novel and backyard. You refuse to give up until you've found them. Wait. Stop. You only want natives, not Swahilian pines. Don't want to confuse agents, editors and readers, do you?

Writer/gardner nirvana, baby! Choices! You're a choices-whore, too? Yay! But don't use too many $10 words when the dollar-ones will do. (Dollar-ones, get it? =p) You reread Strunk & White and return to the nursery with your buckarooski, aka, Golden Ticket.

Que Enya. Now you see unicorns. You see little green men with loads of story-telling potential. Precisely what you've been looking for. Remember, there's nothing wrong with funk and creativity. Don't religiously follow the rules lest your novel sound like the back of a Wheaties box. (Apologies to all WB Writers. I've been there, yearning to bash my clients' heads in. I know the blood, sweat, and shots that go into making a decent ad campaign with legs and steroid-chomping athletes.)


	When stumped and overwhelmed by feelings of stupidity, ask the cat. She is SAGE. She knows all. I'm not kidding. TBC...

Diamonds (and editors) are a writer's best friend

2010-09-03T22:59:00.000-04:00

To all my 7,000, I mean, 7 awesome followers, I, erm, bought one of these today! Well, it was a gift from el husbando for years and years and years of love. Aaaah. I am blessed. But I promise not to type with it on. Plus, I don't have it yet because it's being set.

http://vimeo.com/14656467

More soon. Suddenly, I feel like squeeing, but the only that would really make me squee is a book deal.

Have a happy Labor Day weekend, everyone!

No Zen-ish search for thyself, no book deal for you.

2010-08-22T00:21:00.000-04:00

Today, I'm just exhausted. And so today I'm just going to post this link to awesome article.

http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2010/08/no-eat-no-pray-no-book-deal.html

See you next week!

To-Do list

2010-08-19T22:53:00.000-04:00

Here's my to-do list because I don't have anything else to post right now. Hangs head in shame.

1. Rewrite The Book for SuperNova Agent as discussed. Changes should take a month. Tops. Go!

2. Develop proposal for exciting trilogy that SNA wants to send out very soon.

3. Write intriguing and beautiful, yet practical, heart-wrenching, but not sappy article for BRAVA section of awesome, shining diamond-of-a-friend, New York Times bestselling author, Beth Hoffman's, blog. Promise her you will not ruin her reputation with dreck.

4. Get ready for backyard to be dug up and recontoured. Patio to be built. Plants planted. Do not go outside until all is complete. Invest in good headphones to dim noise.

5. Prepare questions for author interviews to be posted on blog.

6. Figure out all there is to know about widgets, twitter, facebook and html. Don't laugh.

7. Finally get new computer.

8. Order new coffee maker.

9. Take cats to vet. All three. Get another carrier.

10. Learn meditation.

11. Look into shake weights. Do they really work?

12. Color coordinate closet.

13. Invest in Rosetta Stone so can learn French?

Uberagents finding writers through their short stories

2010-08-17T18:28:00.003-04:00

Strange things happen every day. Even when you think the only thing going on that day is the carpeting in your unvacuumed house has become it's own chia pet and Snookie's I.Q. has dropped yet again, I believe there are forces at work in the backgrounds of our lives (que the theme to Glee) and they're very, very busy.

No, I haven't been snorting LiLo's favorite candy, I'm just saying that stuff happen sometimes and we can't control it. Sometimes, it's even VG stuff. (Just ask LiLo). For example, last year when I wasn't looking for an agent at all--I got one. Actually five. Five agent offers. Yep, it's true. Agents were crawling through the woodwork. Knocking on my door and falling through the chimney (well, not really, but it felt like it.) CANDY for us writers, baby!

To back up, I was sitting here minding my own business writing short stories. Whenever I'd finish a story, I'd look up which markets would be best for that story on Duotrope, then send it out. I got tons of rejections. Then I'd send it out again. A few poems too. Believe me, just because you're seeking publication in an ezine, ezine/print combo, or a small print publication DOES not mean the competition is hack. Au contrairee-poo. The competition is fierce.

But I actually sold (got some money) six short stories and two poems! I was even nominated for the 2010 Million Writers Award by the editors of one of my stories. I should have won, but I'm not bitter or anything.

What does this have to do with agents? Everything. Because one of my stories prompted a very well know agent from a VERY prestigious boutique shop in New Yawk to actually email me and ask if I had a novel. Omigod, I was being discovered and I didn't even have to lower my standards and go on The Bachelor.

Yes, I had a novel that I'd been working on, but it wasn't in her genre. However, she told me to send it to her colleague. A week later, said-colleague called me! Seriously. I mean, SERIOUSLY-hello?, things like this don't happen in real life. But they did to me. Squee, squee, squee.

So then said-colleague wanted me to finish the novel, which I did. By this time, I decided to query other agents, and while said-colleague was awesome, I ended up with five offers of representation, and even more requests for reads, which I turned down because each offering agent was glorious and I didn't need more. (Desperate as we are for agent-love, we writers must know when to be gracious and bitch-slap our inner-hogistas).

Anyway, I decided on Super-Nova-Agent for many reasons. I loved her vision, her reputation, the way we clicked on the phone, how our birthdays were only a week a part--very important--and that she got my voice.

So the point of this post is that if you happen to write short stories, it could also bring you some agent offers, too. Or maybe it won't. No guarantees, right? Just ask LiLo.

Agent interview

2010-08-10T16:12:00.000-04:00

Here's a link to today's post at WriteOnCon by my agent Catherine Drayton.

Catherine talks about how to become to a career author in this very tough and changing market. Check it out. Did I mention that Catherine is brilliant? She reps Becca Fitzpatrick, Marcus Zusak, Beth Hoffman, even agent Nathan Bransford!

http://writeoncon.com/2010/08/becoming-a-career-author/

What I'm excited about and what gives me hives

2010-08-09T17:45:00.011-04:00

Dear one and a half readers:

And now for a list:

Things I'm not excited about:

1. Revisions! Ba da bing. I could say I'm thrilled to do revisions and the words flow right off my fingers with perfectly formed sentences, but I would be lying. I do like the after-glow though, so yay.

2. The 200 mosquito bites all over my legs. Don't ask.

3. Writing two novels at once. A novel and a series, actually. Well, I'm sort of excited, but mostly scared to death and ready to dive under the covers with a bag of Skittles and a bottle of tequila.

Things I'm very excited about:

1. Revisions! Yes, I'm Schizo. I mean, sometimes revising for the three-hundreth time is fun. Plus, if it makes the novel better, then I'm all over it.

2. I've lost another three pounds. Yee ha. I'm not fat, but I have this sick, sick goal of wanting to be a just a bit underweight, so then I can eat here and there and not feel disgusting if I've gained a few pounds. I'm sorry. I know it's completely wrong.

3. My Ipad. It makes me happy, okay?

3a. The $101 refund I just received from ebay for the enormously over-sized fake sneakers from China.

4. The YA series I'm writing that Super-Nova Agent, Catherine, just loves. It's super-secret and promises to kick ass. I don't exaggerate. I'll reveal the name of it in another post. Oh, but then it won't be secret. Hmm. Must. Think.

5. WriteonCon, starting tomorrow. Yippers. I'll be lurking, but I'm excited about this great online conference organized by Elana Johnson, Laura and Lisa Roecker and many other brilliant authors who I know and others I'm hoping to get to know. Plus, Super-Nova agent will be making an "appearance."

Here's a description of the really cool happenings from the website:

WriteOnCon is an online writer's conference for kidlit writers. For more details you can check our about page. Write On Con will take place Tuesday – Thursday, August 10 – 12, 2010.
Interested in working with the writers of WriteOnCon for the conference? Check out our contact page. Finally, if you have any questions, hop on over to our FAQ section or shoot us an email at writeoncon at gmail dot com.

And a link to the schedule in case you need more convincing, but I know you don't: http://writeoncon.com/about/schedule/

Well, I have to keep this one short, people. Gotta write that rock-the-publishing-world-series, you know! So do tell: what are you looking forward to?

Book Cover Land

2010-08-06T16:05:00.001-04:00

I came across this fascinating article by Elizabeth Bluemle in PW Shelf Talker about book covers, a favorite topic over here in Fictionistaville.

In it, YA author, Nancy Werlin, (I'm fan-girling here!), gives us the actual exchange she had with her editor and designers about the cover for her upcoming novel, EXTRAORDINARY. It's fun to watch the process. Read it and see what you think. I knew my favorite from the moment I saw it. http://blogs.publishersweekly.com/blogs/shelftalker/?p=1788&cpage=1#comment-8780

Here's the final cover. Totally stunning isn't it? I love it. I'm a cover whore, though, so give me anything and I'll pretty much love it. The scrolly font of the book title isn't something I usually like, but in this case it really works. Anyway, check out the above link.

Oh, I just realized you needed to see how pretty the first book in the series is and how well these two go together. Ta Da! Below the green one is the first one. I hope Nancy Werlin doesn't mind me showing these.

Still do read the article. You'll see how an editor, author and publishing house think when coming up with covers.

Don't they make you want to frolick in your prom dress in a field somewhere and drink a wine? The only problem in real life is that designer dresses and heals can get banged up when it's sweltering hot, and crickets and ticks and are waiting to leap into your hair.

But, hey, it's fiction and that's why we love it.
Congratulations on your beautiful covers, Nancy.

More fascinating covers and cover discussions:

http://www.faceoutbooks.com

http://www.melissacwalker.com

http://readergirlz.blogspot.com/

I suck at updates

2010-08-05T20:29:00.002-04:00

Sometimes it takes me a while to get where I'm going. Oh, you too? Then you'll know what I'm talking about. Yay. I knew we were practically twins.

Well here's my update. (I apologize to my one and a half readers for being late,) but you guys probably already know by now because it was on the national news (heh) that I'm.... agented! Yes, it's true. Squee! Yes, I know, I know: what did I do to deserve this? I have no clue.

But the birds are singing and my heart is still fluttering because not only am I agented by Super-Nova Agent, Catherine Drayton of Inkwell Management, but she also happens to represent Marcus Zuzak (THE BOOK THIEF)--hello?--as well as the mega-talented, New York Times Bestselling author, Becca Fitzpatrick of HUSH, HUSH and now CRESCENDO fame, and LiLa, the hilarious and charming sister-writing team of Lisa and Laura Roecker of the upcoming sure-to-be-a-bestseller, LIAR SOCIETY, a super-hot, quick-witted mystery with a sleuth that will rock your world while giving great advice on fashion and pearls. (I did not mean for that to rhyme.)

Anyhoo, I had FIVE AGENT OFFERS (I'm still screaming it because I'm still blown away) last Fall, yet Catherine was the one who stole my heart. Every agent who offered was quality and fantastic, and I'll be writing more about all of this very soon.

I just wanted to restart this blog and tell you all about it, because we writers need to get out there so people will know who we are. So here I am, the Apple Fictionista blogging again. A little late, but better later than never.

Now to figure out how to do links and stuff. Oh, and so the moral of this post is this: Never give up, dammit. Just wait until you hear more of how I got those five offers. It was seriously serendipitous. Oh, and I'm on submission, while writing a new series. More soon!

Happy New Year

2009-01-11T00:07:00.005-05:00

It's been a while and I definitely need a new look around here. This place is a dump. Gads, that picture has got to go. But first, I'm updating links. Back soon. It's snowing here. Yeah, like, that's amazing in New England in January. And I really cannot stop chewing Extra Berry Paradise gum. I highly recommend it because it keeps you/me from eating crap, such as all the crap we ate over the holidays. Shudder.

Wootski again

2008-10-10T23:58:00.005-04:00

First the contest finalist news and now a full request for my novel from a top agent. Yes! Such is the life of a writer. Our dreams always seem to be pinned on grabbing that next rung of hope, and in my case, I've been given a lot of hope this year--many rungs to climb--and many to get myself tangled up in. To those agents who called me this year and gave me hope, invited me to send them more of my novels, or said they wanted to "work with me," thank you. I appreciate your kindness, critiques, suggestions and the interest you took in me and my work. I hope this agent is the one--the rung that will let me climb aboard the next one. If not, well, at least I'm heading toward the end of the year with another glimmer of hope. Remember, no matter where you are in your goals, hope is the one thing that cannot be taken away from you. As long as you allow yourself to look past the dark times and despondency, and look forward to possibility, you'll be better than okay. You'll get to that next rung. I've obviously been watching too many mushy political ads lately. So props to said agent--may you say yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Woot!

2008-10-06T15:28:00.006-04:00

I just found out that I'm again a finalist at WOW! Women on Writing with another one of my short stories. The best part is that all the finalists' manuscripts will be read by Elise Capron of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency. I would be beyond thrilled to capture her attention! Okay, I'd sell All of my shoes, and give up bread for the entire year. Did I mention shaving my head? Giving up All bread products AND chocolate? I'm ready. I'm here. My novel is almost ready, too.

It's been a while

2008-09-16T23:48:00.005-04:00

Bet you thought I fell into a well (what would I find there?). Well, I didn't, but I did fall into another time zone for eight days. Yes, EIGHT DAYS WITH THE PARENTS. Que music from Psycho, please. Okay, whew. I'm okay. Really. And they are too--1000 miles away with email and cell phones, the perfect scenario. Oh, sure, we had fun, but don't even get me started on all the incidents and scenarios that made me feel like I was 12 again. I didn't get any writing done, either, but I played with the dog, had coffee at Starbucks with my dad, shopped with my mother and generally just left my brain somewhere on my airplane seat. Because if I had dragged my brain along, it would have had opinions and opinions are dangerous at my house, especially when I am being double-teamed. So I spent eight glorious days pretending I was mute. I'm a good nodder, too. Bobble-head, anyone? Finally, kiss, kiss, hug, hug, I returned home to the arms of my hubbie and the disgusted blank stare of my computer. "Where the hell have you been, beyotch? Get back to work." And I'm listening. So how was your summer?

Fantastic. Just. Because it is.

2008-08-07T23:33:00.004-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gujNoTqbwWc

Bored Suburban Moms Seeking Tootsie Trysts?

2008-07-21T15:43:00.004-04:00

Tired of the same ole same ole at the pedicure salon? Check this out. Back to work.

Feathers

2008-07-18T15:38:00.003-04:00

Have you ever seen a guy in a trillion feathers? Want to? He's not my type--too many feathers--however, I figured I'd put him here anyway in case he's yours. Enjoy.

Jump, Fluffy

2008-07-12T23:35:00.014-04:00

This is from an email someone just sent me. The guy's a hero. Please read and scroll down for pictures (although, I couldn't get them to fit perfectly). This one will make you go: awwwww, even if you're in a bad mood.

Something really amazing happened in Downtown Spokane this week and I had to share the story with you. Some of you may know that my brother, Joel, is a loan officer at Sterling Bank. He works downtown in a second story office building, overlooking busy Riverside Avenue . Several weeks ago he watched a mother duck choose the cement awning outside his window as the uncanny place to build a nest above the sidewalk. The mallard laid nine eggs in a nest in the corner of the planter that is perched over 10 feet in the air. She dutifully kept the eggs warm for weeks and Monday afternoon all of her nine ducklings hatched. Joel worried all night how the mamma duck was going to get those babies safely off their perch in a busy,downtown, urban environment to take to water, which typically happens in the first 48 hours of a duck hatching. Tuesday morning, Joel came to work and watched the mother duck encourage her babies to the edge of the perch with the intent to show them how to jump off! The mother flew down below and started quacking to her babies above. In his disbelief Joel watched as the first fuzzy newborn toddled to the edge and astonishingly leapt into thin air, crashing onto the cement below. My brother couldn't watch how this might play out. He dashed out of his office and ran down the stairs the sidewalk where the first obedient duckling was stuporing near its mother from the near fatal fall. Joel looked up. The second duckling was getting ready to jump! He quickly dodged under the awning while the mother duck quacked at him and the babies above. As the second one took the plunge, Joel jumped forward and caught it with his bare hands before it hit the cement. Safe and sound, he set it by the mamma and the other stunned sibling, still recovering from its painful leap. One by one the babies continued to jump to join their anxious family below. Each time Joel hid under the awning just to reach out in the nick of time as the duckling made its free fall. The downtown sidewalk came to a standstill. Time after time, Joel was able to catch the remaining 7 and set them by their approving mother. At this point Joel realized the duck family had only made part of its dangerous journey. They had 2 full blocks to walk across traffic, crosswalks, curbs, and pedestrians to get to the closest open water, the Spokane River
The on looking office secretaries then joined in, and hurriedly brought an empty copy paper box to collect the babies. They carefully corralled them, with the mother's approval, and loaded them up into the white cardboard container. Joel held the box low enough for the mom to see her brood. He then slowly navigated through the downtown streets toward the Spokane River , as the mother waddled behind and kept her babies in sight.
As they reached the river, the mother took over and passed him, jumping into the river and quacking loudly. At the water's edge, the Sterling Bank office staff then tipped the box and helped shepherd the babies toward the water and to their mother after their adventurous ride.
All nine darling ducklings safely made it into the water and paddled up snugly to mamma duck. Joel said the mom swam in circles, looking back toward the beaming bank workers, and proudly quacking as if to say, 'See, we did it! Thanks for all the help

China cabinets r us

2008-07-10T15:14:00.005-04:00

Okay, I'm in the market for a china cabinet and I'm not having much luck. Why? Because A. I either I find garbaaaaaaaage, or B. pieces that require ten mortgage payments and a kidney. What about in-between, dear, darling Furniture Sales Industry? Where is MY furniture? I'm not dripping in money, but I can spend a bit, yet my dollars do not seem to be able to find a home. Yes, you heard that correctly. I can't find anyone to take my money. It's amazing. Amazing. How, how, how does the furniture industry stay afloat beyond making crate-like, zero-personality pieces for the masses and selling them through stores that advertise via really dumb, loud commercials on TV? And while I'm ranting, please stop with the snotty attitudes. You sell furniture. Well, if anyone from the furniture industry ever reads this, thank you for saving me thousands of dollars. Does Target make china cabinets?

Bears

2008-07-09T16:21:00.003-04:00

I just realized there are bears in my area. I don't mean living next door, but within the general vicinity. I had no idea, but I found this website where people post sightings of them. Well neat, but I don't want to run into one obviously. For some reason this is on my mind. Does it have anything to do with the stock market's ups and downs? Don't think so. Just a weird fact. Should I put a bear in my novel? Maybe I need more sleep so I stop obsessing about things. Tomorrow--the alligator post.

Title Conundrums

2008-07-02T23:57:00.012-04:00

At Borders today I had a shock that many novelists often face, but never like, especially when they're still struggling. I found a newly released children's book with the *same* title as my YA manuscript--CICADA SUMMER. The book looked adorable, the story sounded fascinating, albeit the target audience was much younger than mine and the story far lighter. Still, I wanted to slash my wrists and die. I realize the Literary Police aren't going to hunt me down, but it seems the title is symbolic of one of its themes, just as in my novel, and now--now I'm deathly afraid that if I do get my book published, this writer will think I somehow stole part of her idea, when of course I didn't. How can this happen, and what if, when I shop the manuscript to agents, they think I did something under-handed? I feel guilty and I don't even know why. I'm worrying about what to do--beyond killing my novel and myself, that is. That's all for today. Time for some chocolate and a bottle of tequila.

My big fat greek slumber party

2008-07-01T02:50:00.006-04:00

On the Bachelorette last night, Deanna Pappas cut her options down to two. Two men vying for her heart. Twenty-three others left in the dust, or more appropriately, be grateful you're NOT the one, guys, because this lady is one demanding wench. I know it's just a show, but as a writer it's great fodder for how people really behave when they are up for their fifteen+++ minutes of fame. Many are jerks, and I'm afraid our bachelorette tonight was the biggest jerk of all, especially to the those whose hearts she'd chewed up and vomited all over the TV screens (or maybe it's best just to think of her behavior as benificent). And they said Leona Helmsley was mean. Well, this one's short. I'm still pondering her behavior and very shiny orange spray tan. Someone who uses the spray, please tell me how it works? The concept befuddles me because don't you make a mess of your house? It would be all over my floor, ceilings, walls, in my eyes, and on my cat. I prefer the lotion type. But that's for another post.

I'm not a figment of my imagination

2008-06-28T02:34:00.016-04:00

Yay. After weeks of crickets (chiiiiiiiirp), the requests are back. I'm still waiting to hear about the five full manuscripts and six partials that are out, but I'm really feeling hopeful that my luck is turning again. On top of this, I'm a finalist at Women On Writing or WOW with a short story that's being judged by agent, Wendy Sherman, then on another website, an essay that I had slap-dashed together just received an honorable mention. Meanwhile, my wip is coming along better than I'd expected. Writing a YA verse novel offers more freedom than writing adult novels in so many ways. It also has me thinking about how to tighten up each and every line of dialogue and scene. The problem is: Today is Saturday, which means DB aka as Mr. Hunkers is home and I'm going to be distracted. I don't know why, but whenever he's home my focus goes into hibernation. Well, not this weekend. This weekend, I'm getting some serious writing done, period. I'll let you know how it goes. Have a great weekend.

Is this mike on?

2008-06-27T18:10:00.004-04:00

Hello everyone and welcome to my blog.

I feel like the new girl at school, and have to figure out what to blog about, but I'll get the hang of it. In a way, blogging feels like karaoke, or however you spell that cozy ancient tradition of getting wasted in a bar and wailing away into a microphone like you're one of the Davids.

Anyhow, I'm off to think...

Oh and if you're wondering about the Apple Country part in my title let me explain. I live in a town that worships the apple, and I don't mean the one that Jobs built. I mean the fruit. Orchards are everywhere. Signs hang and invite you to go apple-picking and make pies, juice, cider, sauce because when you're in my town, you're in... say it with me now--Apple Country.

'Tis all. I promise the next post will have something interesting to say/vent/bitch/whine/gush about.

Or maybe it won't. Meh.